My Break-Up Letter to Winter
Winter, I normally love you. We have had some fun over the years, some great memories have been made. You are typically favorite season mainly due to the fact that I don’t have to be in a bathing suit so the gym is optional. I think snow is amazing despite the common opinion that its the absolute worst. However Winter, this year, we have to stop this. This is not healthy for either of us! We could have ended yesterday and I would not have complained, actually probably would have jumped for joy. All because of you I am suffering from a severe case of cabin fever . . . what does the ground look like? I wonder how many hairs are on my head? Where do all the missing socks go? Can dogs talk to each other? Am I really this pale? Is my skin always this dry?
Ugh. Winter. Here are my five reason as to why you need to realize that it’s just not working out between us. Winter, it’s you, not me.
1) Contrary to popular belief I am actually not Casper the Ghost, my name is Siobhan. I don’t think that you would be able to see me if I stood next to a snowbank, I think I would blend nicely. This would be nice if I was sidelining as a chameleon but no, sadly I’m not. I miss my tan, or even just my freckles (that 9 months out of the year I despise). My legs haven’t seen sunlight in well over four months now and I’m afraid at this point they would sizzle in the sun if they did.
2) I did not think it was possible to have dry skin that NEVER goes away. I actually think I may be turning into a snake, I’m convinced that I’m molting. One can only hope a beautiful beach body is underneath all this dry skin. Only so much exfoliation and lubrication a girl can take until she is officially annoyed.
3) Where are all my friends?! As February trudges on, it becomes more and more socially acceptable to not leave your house for an entire day, maybe two. Forget going out after dark. Dark means its even colder than before and who wants to face that. Sorry friends but I’m on hiatus until spring arrives . . . and at this rate spring is NEVER coming.
4) I don’t think I can fit into my jeans any more. Leggings are better in every single way except one. They stretch, a pro and a con. Thankfully they do, last time I tried on a pair of jeans the button popped off. This may have been one of the worst moments of my life and to make it better I ate a few cookies. In hindsight this may have had the opposite impact I was looking for.
5) I’M SO BORED! Between school, work and balancing my social life (meaning Netflix), I think I have officially run out of things to do. There are only so many Netflix shows you can watch before you physically feel your brain turning to mush. I have watched every episode of Sex and the City (twice) since winter began. I have officially dubbed my self mainly a Carrie (I write so this seems necessary) with a dash of Samantha (for sass obviously) with a hint of Charlotte (for cuteness). No Miranda because who actually likes Miranda? After spending over an hour analyzing which character I am with my roommates I realized that winter needs to end and I need a past time other than Netflix.
With that being said, Winter take this as a plea: We’re ending this. It over between us and no, you can’t fix anything, but thanks for the flowers . . . Just kidding they’re all dead because of your frost.
With love (but not too much love so you don’t get the wrong impression that there is a chance between us),
P.S. Don’t take this out on me with another storm.